What sorrow love can't cross
by Fate4Destiny
Summary: RL. Ukitake x oc. Ukitake is an author for children's stories and Shunsui's little sister is dating him. But life in one word, can suck.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Shunsui or Ukitake.**

**Warnings: implied sexual events, death, and this isn't much of a happy story. RL story, so no shinigami, etc. **

**this story was supposed to go much different, and not be posted, but I finished it and decided to go for it. And yes, I am too lazy to make seperate chapters. **

"There's wisdom..."

"Bravery. But not the kind which makes you to irrational things-"

"Rational thinking-"

"But with some emotions. The ones you love are the ones you'll protect. If not, some have to ask who will."

"... How long did you think about that for?"

Bright blue eyes closed softly, becoming shades darker as if she would cry. Ukitake knew the signs well as he cupped her chin in his hand. Their conversations from traits of a hero for his newest book to a cold secret from her past was one filled with emotion. A few glasses of wine shared between them, the talk about having their own children, and Ukitake's slightly sidestepping comment of wouldn't a child like his books when they grow older? Like the perfect mother she would be, she started listing off the specifics. He soon joined. And he somehow hit such cold feelings inside of her. He was usually much more careful, but the rush of the excitement hit him. But he couldn't blame any of it. It was his fault his love was so close to tears.

"Don't cry, just tell me. And I promise it'll help mend the past."

The body shook slightly, tears welling underneath dark lashes. Ukitake swept her up in his arms, laying back on the couch with her in his soothing grip. She put her head on his shoulder as he rubbed her back, murmuring words of comfort.

"Sweetheart, shhh, don't cry."

Ukitake wiped a loose tear away, and the brunette slowly sniffled. Eventually she spoke, Ukitake always having that effect on her.

"I- I sometimes felt that I- I was all alone when my brother died."

"Never say that. He was loved by everyone."

Ukitake said it firmly, perhaps a little too much so. He couldn't help it. Her elder brother had been his friend since childhood. Not to mention her brother's girlfriend... One which he mentioned less and less. His love knew well about her brother's abilities to play around with females, and as much as Ukitake tried to convince her this one he had been serious about, she didn't want any more pain. She had been next to her brother when he died.

A small nod was all he received in response to his words. Feeling her become steady once more, her breathing even, he poured out another glass of the sweet liquid and held it out to her.

"This day is about the future, my darling. Shall we drink to it?"

He tilted his head slightly, his eyes partially closed, a warm smile on his lips, the strands of white hair falling over his eyes. Soon a pair of lips matched his and he kissed back, deeply, wishfully, longingly. His tongue licked her lower lip and she put her mouth around it. Catching him surprised she took advantage of his unmoving and open mouth.

Ukitake let himself slip down, laying back on the couch, the weight of his love on his hips. He kissed her back, carefully setting the wine glass down. He spun around with her, now resting himself on her smaller frame. With one hand softly stroking her cheek he took one of hers with his other.

"I love you, Yumemi."

"I love you too, Jūshirō."

Ukitake didn't respond, and touched his lips to hers, stealing any other words she was to say. The only other words that came from her mouth were the constant repetition of his name and words of love over his skin. Those he didn't mute, he'd rather die listening to them.

~XxX~

In his entire being with Yumemi or her brother, he could never recall a time where they fought. Sure, there were arguments over trivial things. There was shared disappointment, and times where they had agreed to disagree. There were the arguments Shunsui gave while he was drunk, the ones his sister had when she first slept with Ukitake.

The point was, something about those two people, the ones he valued the most for the longest time, made it impossible to get mad. That emotion was unknown to him. But there was times, when the trivial things built up so they could argue, and it was sometimes refreshing. Apologies were always so sweet, nights were desperate to fix broken hearts, the air itself seemed clear. So Ukitake half got upset because he liked how last time she gave herself up as compensation. The other reason was the one which made him frown.

"Yumemi,"

He didn't say her name with any particularly hurried tone. He didn't want her to believe he was having an attack of some sort. But this made him purse his lips, and his eyes settled in a soft glare.

"What's wrong?"

Soft lips traced over his cheek as he didn't respond. He then made a sweeping motion to the large bookshelf which dominated the wall of their living room.

"I can't believe you organized them by language. You put poetry next to textbooks."

"Ah... Sorry?"

A sheepish laugh filled his ear and Ukitake only bowed his head, his hair falling before his eyes. In his life he had two main passions. The first was his major, people relations. The second was what his career came from, writing. He was the author of multiple series for children's books, and his passion extended into all languages he knew, four fluently, and three mostly fluently. And they spanned from history textbooks to textbooks from classes to poetry and who knew what else. Fiction, non-fiction, romance, horror. He didn't know what exactly drew him into what he liked, but the type of writing, one he found was so rare and he couldn't explain, always caught him. And he followed the story through whatever the genre or language. Yumemi called them whims. He couldn't disagree.

"Yumemi, this is past sorry. I- you- ugh, how long did you spend organizing?"

"A couple of hours between deadlines yesterday. You just toss books in so I figured you didn't already have them organized. I organized the ones in the languages I know by genre. The others I couldn't tell."

Ukitake couldn't find any fault with her answer. His expression softened and he grabbed her in a hug.

"Sorry for getting upset."

"It's no problem. I shouldn't touch your things without permission. So... Who's going to re-organize this?"

Ukitake pulled away then put a book in her arms. She looked down to see a book on translations.

"You're joking me, right? You have hundreds upon hundreds of books."

"I'm not the one who mixed them all up~"

Yumemi gave a soft groan at her misfortune as she picked up a book with perhaps Chinese characters on it...

"Jū-chan, what language is this?"

"Korean. They have the circles and simpler lines."

"...and this?"

"You're the one with the laptop."

Yumemi gave a whimper, and she felt light hands drift over her hips.

"I'll give you your reward later."

Ukitake softly licked her lower neck, making Yumemi freeze for a moment. He then vanished into his home office and buried his head in his arms. He was so pointless at getting mad at her. He always ended up messing it up and therefor looking like a fool who has no real set goals in life. He had acted upset, then all soft, then tried to seduce her. He was horrible at it. He hit his own head against the desk, then moaned over the pain he caused himself. He hated himself more at each passing second.

His eyes drifted over Yumemi's bookshelf, or at least where she displayed her own novels she wrote. Most of them had won some type or awards or honorable mention. She knew what people wanted to read, and she focused more or less on romance, supernatural, and the occasional horror story. They all had some type of love scene in them. Ukitake never read one through yet, he'd always blush like mad, aware that his girlfriend wrote such things. The worst thing was in his opinion, she wrote such things while she was still a virgin. When he broke it, he seemed to have slipped into multiple books of hers.

He slowly picked one up, opened it, and started reading. He was fully aware of one of the main characters having long white hair, the initial J.U., and TB... It was a gay romance... She went too far...

He closed the book and pouted, why was his girlfriend so quiet about their love life, but she'd take him and show him to the world? It was as if anybody who knew them and read the books could make the connections between him and characters. Wasn't his love life his own concern?

~XxX~

"Yumemi, I'll ask this only once. Why am I in a gay romance with your brother?"

"Because you two look perfect together?"

It seemed like a simple answer, and Ukitake sighed.

"I'm not gay. And I only love one women, you."

"I know, but you make the perfect character... And I need inspiration. Deadlines are piling up like crazy... And I was wondering, well, lots of authors do this. It's kinda like retreating until the novel or whatever is done."

"Retreat from what? Me?"

"No. You never let me explain. Simply put, you'll have to eat alone for a few nights while I work."

"That's not too bad. As long as you're happy."

Ukitake leaned over to kiss Yumemi but she was already retreating... And so it starts, Ukitake sighed.

~XxX~

He slowly played with his food. Usually Yumemi somehow managed to get him to eat. But this time his lack of an appetite wasn't due to his illness. Yumemi had locked herself in her office, then moved to their bedroom. Whenever he walked past he heard the keyboard clicks, telling him she was still working. It was late, and he began to get worried. She'd always say she worked best when it was night so no reality stopped her words, but she never wanted to sleep days to take that into account. She was the exact opposite of her laid-back brother. Except for the fact they both liked porn so much... Where did he go wrong with her?

He put his cup down and slowly got to his feet. He opened the bedroom door and found her bitting her lower lip, eyes bloodshot, and staring blankly at the screen.

"Want to take a break with me?"

"... I guess so."

Ukitake wrapped his arms around her and slowly pulled her away from the laptop. He closed it before falling onto the bed with her.

He reached out for one of her books, flipped through some pages, and began reading. Yumemi softly twirled strands of his hair as he became deeply absorbed into the book.

"I do not slow down half way."

"Nnn,"

Ukitake quickly scanned the rest of the book before carefully placing it back.

"I think it's time we put the ideas of my sex life into the light and out of lies."

Ukitake undid the buttons of his shirt, quickly pulling it off.

"After all, your inspiration has to do inspirational things, correct?"

Yumemi didn't have any time to answer.

~XxX~

"I have to go-"

"But can't you stay? Just for one morning?"

"He said this was important. I have to go. Come with me?"

Yumemi gave a sigh and slowly got out of bed. Ukitake threw on his jacket, ready to leave. He waited patiently for her to get ready, and the moment she was done he dragged her out of the door.

"Jū-chan, why the rush?"

"Nnnn,"

He didn't answer, and nudged her softly into the car.

~XxX~

About forty minutes later Yumemi was trying to convince Ukitake after one round, it was enough.

"But why?"

"You're sick, and besides, I'm way too tired. Your publisher better have good reasons for taking my love away and causing you to drag me along. I was so comfortable."

Ukitake softly hummed and took her hand as they waited outside of his publisher's office. He softly stroked her cheek and gently kissed her forehead.

"Don't be upset. After this, we can go get some breakfast and I'll spend the entire day with you. These meetings tend to be good news."

"It better be another award where I get to see you in a suit. You look so sexy in those."

Yumemi gave him a seductive smile, her brother's flirtatious traits ran deep in her blood. Ukitake wanted to kiss her and playfully push her away all at once. Sometimes, she reminded him too much like Shunsui, and then he couldn't bring himself to take his best friends 'precious little treasure' to bed again.

"Ms. Kyōraku, you may come inside. Mr. Ukitake can stay outside."

Yumemi looked slightly surprised. Ukitake's had a different publisher then her, so why would his need to see her? Giving a confused look at Ukitake, she moved away and walked into the office. She was motioned to sit down and she did so after closing the door.

"Miss. Yumemi, I've been hearing many good things about your books."

"I'm happy to hear that, but that doesn't explain why you want to see me. Is this about Ukitake's work?"

"Somewhat... Miss. Yumemi, how would you like to work for my company?"

"Like I said, I already have a publisher."

Yumemi spoke seriously but she began to feel slightly meek. She merely wrote, everything else was left up to her own publisher. She wasn't used to making these types of deals. She always had Shunsui at her side fir those. And when he was gone, she found Ukitake was just as experienced with those things.

She focused her thoughts as best as she could, she was an adult, she should be able to handle such things.

"I'm offering to pay more."

"I'd have to take your offer and compare it. That would require me to come back."

"Then here's my catch. I'll let you work for both me and your current publisher. They like your romance, I prefer pure erotica."

"I- I thought you published children's books."

"Times are changing. I want new and fresh authors."

Yumemi didn't speak for a long time before coming up with a decision.

"I'll speak to my own publisher to see if that would be possible."

"Perfect. You call with the answer, and if it's a yes, I'll set up another meeting ti discuss what I'll first publish. Could you call Ukitake in on your way out?"

Yumemi didn't move and looked up with a firm glance.

"You're firing him, aren't you? He writes children's stories and isn't exactly 'new' in the business."

"That's none of your concern."

Yumemi only felt assured she was suspecting the right thing. Not wanting to get the publisher any more upset, and giving the benefit of doubt, she rose and left. When she came outside she threw her arms around Ukitake and softly kissed his lips.

"I love you, Jūshirō. Never, ever, forget that. And we'll always manage. I promise."

Ukitake looked lost as Yumemi pushed him into the office. She then waited.

As the meeting went on much longer than hers she called up her own publisher. She confirmed the fact she could take whatever work they didn't approve of to another publisher. After that, she continued to wait. Soon, the door opened and Ukitake stepped out.

He looked upset and rejected. He seemed to age a few more years and his hands shock. Yumemi didn't waste a second putting her arms around him.

"Y- Yumemi, I'm sorry."

Yumemi felt tears fall onto her shoulder and she murmured into his ear.

"It's not your fault."

"But my job-"

"It's not your fault. Don't worry about money, I can handle all of that. All you have to do is be brave for me until we get home. Can you do that for me?"

Yumemi moved away from Ukitake and cuped his chin, looking deeply into his eyes. He gave a depressing nod and sniffle. Yumemi then quickly led him away.

As they walked to their car Ukitake lagged behind. Yumemi led him away, firmly pushing him along as Ukitake didn't pay a single shred of attention. She made him sit in the passenger seat, he was in no state to drive. It was then Yumemi decided to talk with him.

"Jūshirō, I know it must be hard for you. Not just losing your job but writing is your passion. You don't have to stop. We'll find another publisher. You're stories are well-loved. People will jump at the chance to publish your work."

Ukitake looked at Yumemi with his dullest look he ever gave.

"He says people don't want what I write anymore."

"Then he doesn't know the right people."

"Yumemi, you don't have to make me feel better."

"Don't start worrying about things like that. Let's go home, okay?"

Ukitake didn't respond as he slipped on his seatbelt. They drove in absolute silence, Yumemi constantly glancing at Ukitake.

"Your brother told me to care for you."

Ukitake spoke out of nowhere and Yumemi nodded, her eyes on the street.

"And you are. Forget about you not having a job. I can support both of us with my pay."

"You'll need to have both publishers to support us. Until I can find another job. You're working so hard just the way it is. You hardly have time to sleep. Deadlines are next to impossible to meet with your current publisher. How can you write double as much?"

"Shush, I'll manage. Besides, my current publisher rejected quite a bit of my works. Perhaps your publisher-"

"Ex-publisher."

"Would like and publish them... Please don't worry."

"How can I not? We're in debt as it is and overworked. And if we still want a child..."

Yumemi didn't respond and forced herself to say the words she regretted the most.

"Then let's not have a child. At least not now. Shunsui left us quite a bit of money. We'll just use that."

"This is all my fault."

Ukitake wiped away some tears, trying his best to he strong. Eventually he couldn't and he began sobbing, pulling his hood up to hide his face. After a few moments he gave a cough and his hands became bloodied. He merely cried harder because of that, letting everything loose.

He was hardly aware of time and settings until he found himself mostly undressed and underneath warm blankets, the blood wiped away. He felt a soft kiss on his lips and he bit back a new wave of tears.

"Go back to sleep. Sweet dreams."

Ukitake heard the door close and he tried his best to sleep.

~XxX~

Ukitake looked at the small child who ran into his arms. He stood up and spun it around, then looked up. He saw Shunsui and he smiled.

"Shun, why are you here?"

As if unheard, Shunsui snatched the child away and then shook his head.

"You promised me, Jū-chan. When I was dying, you promised me."

Ukitake frowned in confusion before feeling a overwhelming pain take over his body.

He woke up in a cold sweat. His breathing came in deep pants as he pulled the blankets off and stood up. Gripping the wall for support he slowly walked to the bathroom. He looked in the mirror before noticing his chin covered in blood. He must have had an attack while sleeping. With shaking hands, partly from weakness and partly from his nightmare, he began to clean up the blood. The faces in the dream kept haunting him, especially Shunsui's. On his deathbed, Shunsui was with Yumemi and Ukitake. Yumemi was crying too hard to listen fully to her brother as he grabbed both of their hands. With what strength he had left he made them promise to care for the other. He said they were both family to him. Yumemi came to live with Ukitake after she hit depression. She simply couldn't care for herself, having no other friends or family beside Ukitake. He naturally let her live with him, they had already been dating at that point. He got her started in writing again, something she merely did as a hobby. But he still promised Shunsui that he'd protect Yumemi. He was all she had. And now, he was too weak to do anything to help her. And not just from his illness. But this time he knew in the future he would become a burden on her.

He slowly got dressed and thankfully his breathing went back to normal. He found the time to be late afternoon and he left the bedroom. He found Yumemi in the living room. She was once again typing, notes and open books all around her.

Ukitake held himself back and simply watched. She typed, erased, furiously ripped through notes, and to his surprise, she cried to herself. But she kept trying to write through it all.

Ukitake wrapped his arms around her and she quickly attempted to wipe her tears away. Ukitake wanted so badly to scoop her up and make her rest, but he didn't have the physical strength to do so at the moment. He hardly did.

He closed the laptop and sat next to Yumemi.

"What's wrong?"

Yumemi shook her head as a response but Ukitake was patient with her, his hands settling on her hips so he was far enough to look closely in her eyes.

"I- I just can't seem to write today."

"It'll be okay-"

"I have a deadline in two weeks and haven't finished much of the book. I won't be able to finish in time-"

"It won't help to keep trying at it when your heart's not in it. You should take a break."

"I have. It doesn't work. I hate the way how it all sounds."

"How what sounds? The new book?"

"All of the ones I've written lately. It all seems so fame... But I guess at this point it doesn't matter as long as it makes money."

Ukitake felt his heart rip but didn't have any comforting words. It was one thing for her to write all day if she enjoyed it. If she didn't, it was simply becoming too obsessed with the fact they needed money.

"Then tell them you can't write the book."

"But I-"

"I'll find a job anyways. So just say you can't do it."

"But-"

"Do it or I will."

Ukitake pulled out his cellphone and put it in Yumemi's grip. With her own hands shaking she called and cancelled the book. When she finished she began closing books up. When she was satisfied it was all done she rubbed her eyes then sat down with some papers and a pen.

"Yumemi?"

"Sorry, but I have to write a story for your pu- ex-publisher."

"You won't stop, will you?"

"I can't..."

Ukitake slipped on the floor next to Yumemi then slid his arm around her waist. With his other hand he reopened the laptop and began searching for jobs.

"You aren't going to find a new publisher?"

"No. I need a steady paycheck. Especially if we'll have a child. I promise everything will work out. I have that major in human relations and my resume somewhere. This should go by quickly."

Ukitake smiled down at Yumemi with confidence sparking in his eyes. As long as she could lean back on him, they would be alright.

~XxX~

Ukitake rubbed his own eyes and winced. How could Yumemi stare at a computer screen for so long? It had been two weeks since he was fired and he spent almost every waking moment searching for a job. He hardly fell asleep next to Yumemi anymore and she was currently sleeping. It was two in the morning and she just finished a novel she started a few months ago but dropped before. She didn't yet have word on it by either publishers, but her body didn't let her skip any more hours of sleep. Ukitake found her dead asleep on the floor, almost tripping over her a few hours ago. They were a mess, they're relationship nonexistent at the moment.

As he smothered another yawn he had to close his hurting eyes. When he opened them the room seemed to spin. He probably did spend too many hours staring at the screen.

He closed it and made his way to the kitchen, flicking on a light. He felt a sick feeling deep in his stomach and before he could react he coughed. It was deep and didn't stop as he felt his body throw up. When he finally dared to open his eyes it wasn't just blood he saw. It was thick with something more to it. His lungs burned in pain and his head became dizzy from blood loss. He heard a ringing in his ears right before the sound of a thud. His mind didn't connect that he was the cause to that thud before blacking out.

~XxX~

"His lungs were severely hurt in this attack and one has ripped open. We had to operate to stop the internal bleeding. He won't be able to leave the hospital for another few days, and I have to say he can't do anything stressful or which would require much physical activity for a few weeks."

"But he'll get better, right?"

"It's hard to say. Yes, his lungs will overcome this one attack. But he's getting worse as each year goes by. One day he won't be able to get back up from one of those."

Yumemi blinked to hold back her tears and seeing her distress the doctor left so she could be alone with the patient. She cried into Ukitake's blanket as she clutched his hand. After awhile she felt it move. She looked up to see him looking down at her, worry string in his eyes.

"Yumemi, I'm in the hospital, right?"

Yumemi gave a small nod as she felt Ukitake weakly hold her hand back.

"Go home and get some sleep."

"I won't leave you."

"Yu-"

"Last time I left someone I loved in the hospital I came back to be told they only had a few more hours. I'm not leaving you."

"I won't die."

"You could. You really could have this time, Jūshirō."

As his love sobbed Ukitake couldn't do anything but hold her hand back and try to soothe her through words. He never before felt so hopeless.

~XxX~

It was five weeks since the attack and his body was still weak. He watched Yumemi pack somethings in a box as he couldn't help. Whenever he tried Yumemi sent him to sit down. The reason was clear. Every since the hospital visit, he got an attack at the most simplest of things. Each time he blacked out, something he never had done before.

As Yumemi tapped another box closed he glanced around their home once more.

"I'll miss this place. Remember when we first moved in here?"

Yumemi gave a small laugh- her first in weeks- at the memory.

"How could I not? You made love to me against the front door."

"I was so happy that we were officially together... We technically have a common-law marriage now... Any thought towards an actual ceremony? It can be simple. Just signing some papers and that's it."

"If we find the time."

"... So that's what it is? We'll get married when you find the time?"

Ukitake tilted his head and tried to keep the anger out of his voice. But lately he began to snap a few times at Yumemi. He was just so useless now and he felt like he was holding her down. She had to support both of them now and with them moving to a less expensive home because of money issues, she was stressed and always busy.

"Then chose a day or something. I have to have everything packed up by friday, so I don't have the time to sit and talk to you about it at the moment."

As Yumemi carefully put his books in boxes he wanted to wince. Why did she take such care with his things while she just threw her own things inside without any care? As if she was mad at herself but cared so much for him?

Ukitake kept himself quiet, staring down at his hands. When he felt like coughing he locked himself in the bathroom. His hands gripped the sink with all the strength he had left as he threw up more blood and gore. When he was done his body was numb and he felt so light-headed he tripped over his own feet. He heard Yumemi ask if he was okay and he had just enough strength to respond that he was. Only when he heard her pack up more things did he let himself fade into the darkness.

~XxX~

It was cold when he woke up, that was what he remembered. He found himself on the bathroom floor and he slowly got to his feet and opened the door. He wanted to find Yumemi as he stepped into their bedroom. It was empty except for the furniture. It was the same for every single room. He couldn't find Yumemi though.

"Yumemi? Are you here?"

He didn't get an answer and after not finding her he sat down on the couch and decided to wait. She probably went to the store or something.

He brought his knees up to his chest and curled up to fight off the cold. He supposed there was no need to pay the heating bill if they were moving. He kept his eyes on his watch as the minutes slowly ticked by. At some point he must have fallen asleep but was woken up by a knock on the door. He slowly got up and answered it, expecting Yumemi. Instead he saw two men dressed in a uniform with some sort of logo on it.

"We're here to move the furniture."

Ukitake moved out of the way and glanced at his watch. It had been seven hours. Where was Yumemi? He decided to wait outside and he sat down on the hood of his car. He didn't know where the keys were. Probably packed away somewhere... Who knew where he boxes were...

As his fingertips got numb from the cold he decided he couldn't just wait around anymore. The worse that could have happened was that Yumemi left him. The thought made him want to hit depression but he tried to stay sensible. If she did, he'd have to start taking control of his life again. She could be gone, or waiting at their new place. He was a grown man after all. He was the one saying he didn't want to be dependant on her all the time.

As the movers finished they left, giving him the new address after giving him a few questioning looks. Shouldn't he know where his new home would be? Sadly, Yumemi never told him. Ukitake hardly knew much about their life after awhile. He was like a sick and useless puppy. And Yumemi didn't need yet more burdens to her life. So leaving a puppy behind made sense. People who moved away did it all the time. But didn't Yumemi love him?

He quietly sobbed and the tears were freezing on his face. He noticed the sun starting to set and he had one last piece of hope. He knew he really shouldn't do it, but at this point he really did feel abandoned.

He found a nearby tree branch then looked at his car. Wincing, he struck a window of the car with all his might. It cracked and after a few more attempts it broke. Not having a car alarm, Ukitake reached in and unlocked it. Finding an extra set of car keys beneath the driver's seat he decided he only had one last place to go where he'd be allowed.

~XxX~

"Shunsui, I miss you."

Ukitake sobbed to the white marker as the sun had left, plunging everything into a darkness. He threw his arms around the stone, resting his forehead against the cold slab.

"H- how could she leave me? Did she leave me? What if she's worried about me? But what if she does want me out of her life? I couldn't blame her. But Shunsui, I thought she'd at least give me a goodbye. Killing me would have been better. I'd probably do it myself if she told me to. How could she?"

As Ukitake questioned his friend who he knew wouldn't come back, he fell weaker. Until the swirling of Shunsui's name and date of death was all he could see.

~XxX~

Ukitake woke up to be in the hospital and he couldn't help but give a thankful sigh. At least here he wouldn't be all alone. He was certain Yumemi left him and he began mentally trying to think of his next steps. But he came up with none. All of Shunsui's money left to them were used up on his medical bills, Yumemi was the only person he knew who lived around the same place, and she didn't want him.

His last option was to call one of his younger siblings. They all lived far away but it would be best to get away from all the pain he had. And so he did that.

~XxX~

Five years later he was looking out the window, watching his younger brother and said brother's new wife. She was a nice lady for letting him stay, understanding his situation. Ukitake tried very hard to stay out of their way, not wanting to ruin their lives like he did to Yumemi or Shunsui. He burdened them both until they simply couldn't survive anymore.

He sat on the edge of his bed with a newspaper. He never knew what he was looking for in it, but always hoped to come across Yumemi's name. His brother called her a string of bad names for leaving him, but Ukitake couldn't blame her. Their relationship had been dead for weeks and he was useless. It was a word who still haunted him but he tried to wipe those tears away. His younger sister was coming over with her children, and that tended to brighten up his mood. They were always so adorable, so innocent, so willing to accept anybody in their lives to love.

When he shared the idea of having his own child though, his brother's wife sympathized with him. His brother, blunt as usual, called him a fool. He was too old, too sick, and had nobody else to be the mother. And would he be able to support it even if the child had been born? And if it had TB, that would be a fault he'd have to live with.

With a deep sigh he watched his sister drive up to the house. Putting on a smile he went downstairs to greet her. He felt someone small jump him and he gave a weak cough as he tried to hold them up. To his brother's surprise, not to mention his own, he managed and he spun around. The child laughed in glee and Ukitake soon found himself with everyone in the living room. Everyone joined their own conversations and he found himself talking with his eldest niece, only nine years old. He nodded along until one part caught his attention.

"He keeps coughing up blood-"

"Who keeps doing that, honey?"

Ukitake watched his sister pick up her daughter and the girl gave an innocent smile.

"Jūshirō."

"Well, that's because your uncle is sick."

"Not Uncle. Another Jūshirō. Silly mommy. He goes to my school. He looks kinda like Uncle though."

"Alright, enough stories."

The child was about to be taken away by her mother before Ukitake interrupted.

"Kyōraku? Is that the child's last name?"

"Jūshirō, why do you care about a kid with the same name as you?"

"Shush, let her answer."

His sister frowned at being silenced but the niece spoke up.

"Yup. I think he says his daddy left them. He lives with his mommy."

"Do you know where they live?"

"Nope. But he says he didn't move since he was born."

Ukitake didn't say a word and tried to think about everything. It couldn't be, could it? Then again, he and Yumemi separated near the end of their relationship. She could have been pregnant. And that would explain why he never could find her. And if it was the same address then the one they were supposed to move to...?

Ukitake ignored everyone's questions as he suddenly ran out of the house.

~XxX~

His sister lived in the same city as he did before, so after a few hours of driving he was facing a small apartment on a busy street. He crossed his fingers and hoped to god it was Yumemi. And he added in a prayer that she would want to see him.

When he knocked on the door it was opened by someone much younger than what he expected. It was a child with grey eyes, the same ones he knew so well from Shunsui. They had black hair and Ukitake saw some of Yumemi in him.

"Hello. Is your mother here?"

"Mommy's busy. She said not to talk to strangers."

"Tell her Jūshirō wants to see her."

"But why do I want to see mommy?"

"Then go and tell her Ukitake wants to talk to her. Please?"

The child gave a slow nod and Ukitake watched him run off. He came back with a man instead though.

"Is there a reason you're talking to my son?"

Ukitake felt his mouth go dry and the small boy looked up at Ukitake with that same innocent look all children had. Ukitake felt his eyes get wet at the sight of those grey eyes though.

"I need to speak to Yumemi Kyōraku."

"She's busy at the moment working."

"Oh, it's best not to disrupt her writing I suppose..."

"Yumemi doesn't write anymore. And how would you know her again?"

"I- we-..."

Ukitake slowly crouched down when he was at a lost of words to get a better look at the child.

"You looked so much like your mommy. And your uncle."

"Mommy says Uncle Shunsui always like everybody. And so did daddy."

"Hmm, so you know this man isn't your father?"

The young boy nodded, revealing some white roots. Ukitake then grinned, unable to help himself. This boy was what he and Yumemi had wanted for years. Tears traced down Ukitake's cheeks and he felt the boy wipe them away.

"Mommy says people shouldn't cry. Because it makes-"

"The rain get jealous. And when people become jealous, there's less love. And if there's less love, people can't stop crying... You're uncle would say that. Because your mommy used to go on so many dates and I would cry because I thought she'd never love me. Your uncle was a smart man. I'm glad you look a lot like him."

The boy grinned as the other man gripped Ukitake shoulder and forcefully brought him to his feet.

"I don't know who you are, but I recommend staying away from my family."

Ukitake watched the boy looked up with questioning eyes and he felt his eyes brim with tears.

"Jū-chan, are you happy? And your mommy to?"

"Yup."

"Good. You tell her that it's not her fault people die. That they still love her no matter where she goes and what happens. And one more thing, cough medicine won't work. Try to stay calm instead when you cough up blood. It works more."

"How do you know?"

"Because I have the same illness as you do."

"Hey! I said to stay away from him!"

Ukitake looked at the man in front of him them briefly closed his eyes.

"You, sir, are the luckiest man in this entire world. I wish your family the best of luck."

Ukitake gave a polite smile and turned around. He walked away as his heart felt so pained yet happy he simply felt like crying, wether for happiness or sorrow he didn't know.

Behind him he heard the boy- his boy- speak to his new father.

"Daddy, do you think he was friends with mommy? He knows Uncle Shunsui. And my illness and-"

"I'm sure it's just someone who knew your uncle a long time ago. Come on, your mom will get worried if you stay outside for too long."

And with that the door shut behind Ukitake.


End file.
